The art of listening!

Yes, yes, yes, and no. What yes? Sir, no then?

Alas, those were not the answers to the allotted questions. The manager gawkily looked at me, almost expecting me to announce the lottery numbers. His smile belied the unfortunate nature of this consultation. 

This was a prime example of the very prevalent medical condition known as "I don't know how to listen, so let me continue to talk in gibberish while I waste your time and mine!" 

I have the diagnosis. No need to book another medical consultation here; this, unfortunately, is a very common symptom.

In a globalised world where many services and consultants provide much-needed advice and support, it seems they fall foul of the age-old problem of lecturing without adequately addressing nor comprehending the question posed. 

Those ears are clearly not working. They are not listening, and rather, they continue to talk first and never listen. 

So, what are these salient symptoms? Well, the nonlistener begins the sentence with "I have an idea…" Sound familiar? This is the same sentence most transiently successful leaders and founders start with. However, that is where the similarity stops. 

As even the most ambitious of founders knows, there is no I in "team." So rather than trying to share their dream to showcase the wider ideals and benefits to society but with some form of verbal feedback, the non-listener continues on their self-determined path of dictatorial rationalisation. 

The vehement argument is how can they ever be wrong? That is when the prognosis looks bleak.

Next on the list of symptoms for the habitual nonlistener is the formulation of the hypothetical Metaverse in which only they seem to have insight. They are not wearing VR goggles, but rather, in their mind, they have the first VR goggles invisible to all except them, so the sooner you get these nonexistent goggles, the better, and they implicitly state that your world would be much better. 

This often leads to many discussions of what-ifs without any context-definable situations, most of which again have no relevance to what you, as the other person listening, are in any way trying to discuss or have an interest in discussing. 

Rather, the discussion soon develops into what branch of a thought they have deemed as rationale and for which you are to appreciate. This is known as the point of delusional discussion, whereby nothing can be discussed unless the discussion has the speaker's thought process all the way. This is now terminal.

Finally, the perpetual nonlistener instigates a slew of circular arguments, all of which have been confirmed and verified by themselves. The possibility of ever having any other stakeholder engagement to derive such a thought has never crossed their mind and never will. 

Hence, the thoughts will be more emotionally draining to have a discussion, and rather, one can expect to be lectured on the flaws of the world's thoughts! At this point, I am afraid no amount of CPR will save this soul, and I do expect a turbulent and boisterous boardroom!

This is a growing problem. As we increase our appetite for social media, this is something we should be consciously aware of. The very essence of perpetual one-sided lecturing without any decree of justification begins, and we have become cannon fodder for noise assimilation. 

This unfortunate societal problem means we are likely to witness this again and again. 

Therefore, the best way to manage these symptoms is to identify these traits early. The solution is to remain grounded in the fact that to be a true leader. One has to provide clarity and consensus but has the true responsibility to listen and garner respect and collaborative thought through genuine evidence-based insight.

As history has shown, unless one learns to listen to others, others will never learn to listen to you. Dialogue and conversation are better than having a one-way loudspeaker listening to one's own voice. 

Practice will make perfect, and practice one must do; otherwise, those headphones will continue to cancel out all noise around you!

Rameen Shakur, MD, PhD (Cantab), FRSA, FIBMS, FRSPH, FRSB, is a professor of Genomics and Cardiovascular Medicine and Director of the Centre for Precision Health and Translational Medicine at the University of Brighton, UK.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Business Standard.