Feminism for men

Infographic: TBS

Most of the readers will start reading this with negativity, but that is because they are ignorant of the benefits that feminism brings. Another reason is the misconceptions people have about feminism as a man-hating movement.

Feminism is the belief in full social, economic, and political equality. This ideology, and the socio political movements inspired by it address the inequality between both men and women. This is not about only women, but it is for the men too who are subconsciously becoming the victims of patriarchy. 

Breadwinner superhero

Patriarchy portrays men as superheroes, which is enjoyed and celebrated all the time in society. The superheroes take responsibility for a lot of dependents. Once a child asked me - why does superman have to save people when there is law- justice, police and the general public. 

I also asked myself -  isn't it too taxing for one man! Watching out for the whole city and taking care of their wellbeing should not be on one person. The question is valid for our men too. Why do the father, brother, sons have to bear all the burden of being a provider? 

Boyhood to manhood, our patriarchy imposed one duty on men - " you are the bread earner" no matter what! A man has to take financial responsibility for everyone in the family because it is the primary criteria to become a "family head". 

Has anyone imagined the amount of pressure this created on our fathers! They sacrificed their hours, holidays, savings to implement the societal duties of being the breadwinner. Wouldn't it be so much better if the spouses and female members were equally responsible for earning the bread? Wouldn't it release half of the pressure he was carrying?

Yes! It would have.

We live in the infamous breadwinner model where our family is centred on a male breadwinner, who works outside to provide for the family and makes decisions for the dependents. Here non-earners work at home and play the role of caregiver. Feminist theorists have increasingly criticised this gendered division of work as female folks are not regarded as role player here whereas it also creates burden on men.

I am sure we know so many men, who never dared to go to a cinema or have their favourite food from a restaurant – just because he had to save money for the child or wife. I had read an article where a father never went to visit Cox's Bazar despite serving a company in Chattogram for years. He said - "I could not do it as I did not have much solvency, had to look after everyone in the family." 

This is very common. People may argue that it is because Bangladesh is a developing nation and people do not have luxury. This is partially correct, partially incorrect. The gender centric work hour analysis by BBS, 2018 reflected that men spent more hours in income generating activities whereas women spent more time in household chores which are not converted into monetary terms. 

This denotes that patriarchy defines gender roles and deprives both men and women from fulfilling their own potential and enjoying life freely. 

Let's take a look at our demography. 36.3% of the female population aged 15 or above take part in the labour force, while 80.5% of men of the same age contribute directly to our economy. This gap raises a lot of questions on our social practices and the endless possibilities of gender inclusive socioeconomics. 

Norms of masculinity 

Men folks have the "Real Men Standards" to match. The norms of masculinity like being tough and unemotional, as reflected in the phrase "man up," clearly binds a human into an orthodox behavioural pattern. 

"Real men don't cry" or "stop being a girl" is imposed to show their unemotional side in front of the world. This does not mean men in general are naturally emotionless. Have seen men cry when their parents departed, when they were hurt or in distressed situations. Human beings are social, emotional beings, it is just their upbringing and socialisation process which shapes up the attitude and behavioural patterns. 

Not man enough!

There is a giant myth that men can't be sexual/rape victims. The fact is that a lot of rape among men is also perpetrated by men themselves. Men being raped is often a topic of humour, often mocked and makes a grave crime like rape sound like a very light, unfortunate incident. These patterns of patriarchy are so engraved into our social systems that we don't even realise how men are becoming a victim in toxic patriarchy.

Is patriarchy worth it!

The end result of hiding emotions, ignoring the abuse to maintain the norms of masculinity, has a harmful impact on mental wellbeing. Bangladesh, where mental health is still a social stigma, makes it harder to avail professional help. 

The National Institute of Mental Health with the World Health Organisation (WHO) conducted "National Mental Health Survey, Bangladesh 2018-19" where it was found that though ratio of men and women's mental health issues is similar, suicide rate among men is higher than women. 16.8% of adult men and 17% of adult women in Bangladesh are suffering from mental health issues. Bangladesh's suicide rate for men was 5.70%, for women it was 1.70% in 2019.

The theme for this year's International Women's Day was break the bias. It pledges to build "a world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination". Men were always on this journey to make the world all-gender inclusive. Discrimination free world is not possible by excluding men. 

To summarise through a simple equation, feminism is for everyone. It is sharing a common goal of defining, creating and achieving gender equality. The patriarchal mindset is a common enemy. Shared responsibility is absent in patriarchy, whereas feminism's core concept lies in it. 

It is undeniable that patriarchy affects women more directly, but that shouldn't negate the fact that it hits men too in different ways. Feminism encourages personal choices and development dynamics to produce more modern, equitable, and better governed societies with better performance on all dimensions of social well-being. 

We need to know more about feminism, read about it, learn about the end results brought by feminism - such as recognising and elimination of gender-based violence, women's contribution in global economy, providing voice to marginalised communities, making justice system gender neutral, introducing world to importance of birth control, voting rights, equal pay, parental leave, girls' education and establishing human rights. Feminism is an ideology with such positivism and benefits that should be adopted by everyone. 

Illustration: TBS

The author is a development practitioner. Email: [email protected]

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Business Standard.