Empowering men to empower women: A path towards gender equality

Women empowerment has been a common agenda among people for some time now. But, can we really empower one faction of the population by neglecting the other?

"My mom tried to break the gender norm of giving the best piece of chicken to the boys and always gave me and my sisters two drumsticks whenever she cooked her dish," said a member of the audience during a panel discussion on Women's Day.

This might seem like a good thing at first but she later mentioned she has a brother as well who always had to settle for less.

This is a small example of how breaking gender norms is not always about going against the tradition but requires more nuance to follow the middle path without depriving anyone. Which means, while empowering women we also have to help men become more self-sufficient as well as better adults as a whole.

And how might we do that?

Changing gender norms or changing the general mindset of the population needs intervention from a very young age.

Efforts as simple as normalising going against traditional gender roles can go a long way.

Cholpori is doing exactly that by teaching children through characters such as a female robot who loves science and talks about different topics of STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics), a boy named kathal who is very sensitive and is capable to showing emotions freely, and a gender-neutral cloud whose gender they do not speak about.

Cholpori is a digital learning platform aligned with the national curriculum which caters to 2.5 crore students from Kindergarten to Class 8.

Social constructs are one of the major things holding women back, which is not easy to break away from if men do not step up.

Giving women the space to work or empowering women to take on big roles in their jobs will not be enough if the men in their lives do not help out in terms of house chores or other errands.

However, people are often set in their ways, they rarely change. Also, it is easy to feel left out when you see everyone around you trying to pull up the other gender only.

While that can be disheartening the situation arose as men have been at the helm for too long.

Patriarchy, the bane in gender equality

The main culprit behind inequality, patriarchy, which has been driving the societal norms is not only a construct perpetuated by men, it is often propagated by women as well.

Patriarchy lets men hold primary power and dominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege, and control of property, which ultimately perpetuates gender stereotypes, limits opportunities for women, and creates a culture of inequality.

However, it's essential to acknowledge that patriarchy also imposes rigid expectations and pressures on men, restricting their emotional expression, and perpetuating harmful notions of masculinity.

Toxic masculinity refers to the adherence to traditional male gender roles that stifle emotions, promote aggression, and devalue anything perceived as feminine.

Toxic masculinity perpetuates harmful attitudes and behaviours that not only harm women but also restrict men's own freedom and well-being.

By challenging these norms and encouraging men to embrace vulnerability, empathy, and emotional intelligence, we can create a more inclusive environment where both men and women can thrive.

Break the cycle

To bring any change in society we have to change ourselves first. One has to become the role model they hoped they had.

For adolescent boys, raging hormones are a bane, but we do not see much talk about it. As hard it is for young girls to cope with physiological changes brought on by puberty, such as menstruation, hormonal imbalance and bodily changes like growing breasts and more, boys also have their set of changes they have to cope with which included growing facial and body hair, voice deepening, increased sexual desire due to hormonal spikes, wet dreams and more.

Women often get "the talk" from their mother to explain what she is going through is only natural or at least in the face of crisis they can turn to the women of the family, but fathers giving sons "the talk" is less heard of.

"The talk" doesn't necessarily have to be only about sex. I think just hearing what they are going through is normal would be a big reassurance for them.

Toxic masculinity is what's stopping this open dialogue between generations. Someone needs to break the cycle. So, if you are in a position to have a conversation with your son, nephew or someone who is just hitting puberty please reach out.

Going through all the motions alone can take a toll on the mind.

Other than near ones creating space for discussions, institutionalised sex education can help ease these growing pains not only for boys but for girls also.

In terms of sexual and reproductive health both men and women should be empowered with access to information as well as access to healthcare.

With recurrent campaigning and awareness programmes the taboo surrounding women's sexual and reproductive health has abated to some extent.

Men, however, still suffer from the same taboo and often toxic masculinity, which entails them to project themselves as tough, stops them from seeking healthcare even if they are suffering from any sexual ailments, which can ultimately affect their partners.

So, while ensuring access to healthcare for women, we should also raise awareness about men's sexual health and normalise men talking openly about these issues.

Teach boys to behave instead of telling girls to stay home

Instead of teaching our daughters to not go out after dark we should teach our boys to make the environment safer.

In making the society safer for girls or making girls feel safe the role of parents of boys is the most important. Only they can raise sons in a way so that they learn to respect women rather than considering them a prized possession or someone they can rule over.

And the best way to teach children is through example, if they see their parents treating both men and women with equal respect while moving away from traditional gender norms, they will learn the same.

Something that promotes the idea of othering is trying to keep girls away from boys from a very early age. Parents of young girls often prefer to educate their daughters in all-girls schools to safeguard them from "boys".

Instead of teaching girls to avoid all boys, we should teach them how to avoid the problematic ones as trying to isolate one from the other only creates more problems in later life.

Both boys and girls fail to grow up to be adults who can effectively communicate with the other gender.

This often leads to men appearing too straight forward or inappropriate and women considering the smallest hint of friendly behaviour as an advantage.

This transcends to workplaces as well. For women, offices can become a challenging place due to various kinds of gender discrimination along with harassment.

Families often refuse to let the women work due to fear of their safety.

Rather than stopping women from doing things, they should make sure the male members of their families do not create a hostile environment for women.

Office policies or the attitude of the top brass might often be sexist which can be challenging for both men and women.

The solution to this lies in creating space for discussions and involving both men and women in decision-making processes related to gender issues.

Empowering men begins with raising awareness about the issues women face, including discrimination, harassment, and systemic barriers.

By fostering empathy and understanding, men can become allies in the fight for gender equality, advocating for women's rights and challenging harmful behaviours and attitudes within their communities and workplaces.

Empowering men to empower women is not about diminishing the struggles women face or shifting the focus away from gender inequality.

Instead, it's about recognising that gender equality is a shared responsibility that requires the active participation of both men and women. By challenging patriarchal norms, promoting empathy and understanding, and fostering collaboration and allyship, we can create a more equitable society where everyone has the opportunity to reach their full potential, regardless of gender.

Together, we can build a future where gender equality is not just a far-fetched dream but an attainable reality for all.