Uncomfortable situations at work and how to address them smartly

When in college, finding a job and living the life of a professional is the dream. But no amount of assignments, presentations, deadlines, and lectures can prepare one for awkward and uncomfortable encounters at work. These situations can range between utterly trivial matters to difficult situations where one has to approach the situation in a manner where no feelings are hurt. 

As power dynamics in the workplace is a commonplace, employees need to pick up a trait, or a sly reply or two to stay away from an escalating situation. 

Of course, getting better at, for example, saying no to your boss when they ask you to take on a new task on your way out, takes time and experience. But who likes to be on the sticky end of such tricky situations? No one. 

These few situations that are quite common in most workplaces – notwithstanding a dictator's office – have been handpicked so that freshers in an office can keep themselves from being taken advantage of or to simply keep the peace.

Situation #1: A senior employee dumps work on a subordinate

Rashna Mahzabin is an evaluation and monitoring specialist in an international NGO. Her job is to monitor and evaluate the projects she has under her care and strategise solutions for problems that arise in her department. 

Her work takes her to multiple field visits in a week. As soon as she is back from a visit, she needs to evaluate her observations. One day when she just entered the office from a field visit, a senior had handed her new tasks. She had to choose between evaluating her visit or doing the newly assigned work. Doing both would be time consuming and she had very little time to do both. 

What Rashna said: "I already have a workload and these are my deadlines. As this is a new task on top of those, please help me create a priority list and new sets of deadlines."

Why and how it works: A clear channel of communication helps

• Both parties realise how much work one has.

• sets a boundary.

• prioritise own work and meet deadlines.

When Rashna said it out loud, her senior took the tasks back and handed them to someone who was not as occupied as she was.

What the HR suggests: Supervisors often like to 'dump' work on employees who are good or better at a task than the others. It saves them from having to train others. 

Nisha Fatema, the Head of Department of People, Culture and Diversity at SMEC International Pty Ltd and a former HR Head at IDe Bangladesh, said, "These supervisors have to invest in training people who are not doing good, instead of always relying on the best. Otherwise, the team won't grow. Also, a supervisor has to be mindful of who does what. That way leaders can equally distribute the workload."

Situation #2: A close colleague is doing something unethical

Sajedul Islam has been a banker for many years. During his tenure at a private bank, he became friends with a colleague who had the habit of pocketing minor stationery items like pens, erasers and sharpeners. He chooses to look the other way even though it makes him a little uncomfortable. 

He also sees his colleague regularly submitting bills of exorbitant amounts as ancillary. "Last week I had to meet with a client at a fancy restaurant to convince him to take our home loan," is a regular excuse of his. He bills the office for what he had to pay at the restaurant. At other times, he bills the office for short tours saying that he had to go meet a client. 

Sajedul, during his weekend, went out to eat at a restaurant with his family. He ran into his colleague there, who was also having dinner with his family. On the weekday, however, he saw him submitting a bill for that very dinner. 

Sajedul was left undecided whether to report this to HR or not. But he chose to confront him instead.

What Sajedul said: "I know what you were doing and you should not keep doing this!"

Why and how it works: Conveyed in a confrontational manner, it

• gave his colleague a warning to do right by the workplace.

• establishes how unethical activity will not be tolerated.

• allows establishing and practising fair workplace ethos.

What the HR suggests: In such situations, it is always prescribed that such behaviours be notified promptly, despite closeness to colleagues.

Situation #3: A trusted colleague snaps during an important task

Mahmood Hossain is a Territory Manager (TM) in the Fast-Moving Consumer Goods (FMCG) industry. His team lead often admonishes him for not finishing a task on time, which was originally his own responsibility. On days when the workflow is tenable, the team lead behaves fine, but when his own work gets stalled, he snaps. 

What Mahmood said: "When you are in a good mood, my work meets your standards. When you are in a bad mood, my work is never up to par."

Why and how it works: Such statements help avoid confronting a superior by

• indirectly saying your superior can also be wrong at times.

• establishing that the misbehaviour was uncalled for, without directly telling a supervisor that it is not okay to snap because they are in a bad mood. 

What the HR suggests: "When this keeps happening, it is important to have an open dialogue with the colleague or supervisor. You put it through email. When you have documentation, there is accountability. When tasks are handed out through documentation, there is clear demarcation of what is expected of someone at work. When everyone is aware of their roles, they will automatically perform accordingly," said Nisha.  

Situation #4: Taking credit for others' ideas

Mashfique Ahmed is a researcher at a think tank. He shares new ideas during their weekly board meetings. Before one of these meets, a colleague was very curious about the ideas he planned on sharing, which Mashfique communicated. 

In the meeting, however, his colleague took credit for it. The next time when the same colleague wanted to discuss ideas before a meeting, Mashfique did not oblige. 

What Mashfique said: "It's great that you and I agreed on our previous idea, but let's discuss everything during the meeting."

Why and how it works: In putting it this way, Mashfique avoided:

• confronting or accusing his colleague of taking credit.

• his ideas from getting stolen.

What the HR suggests: Ideas are mostly put forward in a meeting or a conference. "The person who feels his or her idea has been stolen should say 'Thank you for putting my message across' or 'That was my point exactly!' said Nisha. 

Situation #5: Stop a colleague from flirting with you

Rania Ahsan, a fresh graduate architect, has just joined an architecture firm as an apprentice architect. She gets most of her work done on time and the tasks she struggles with, she communicates with colleagues who can help her with it. 

This caught her immediate supervisor's attention and he started behaving strangely around her. He calls her after work hours in the pretext of talking about work. When their conversations did not strictly remain work-related, she did not know how to handle them initially. After a while, he would ask her out to lunch during work. One day, he told her that he would like to be in a  romantic relationship with her.

What Rania said: "I admire you as a person but I think we should keep our relationship strictly professional."

Why and how it works: Communicating her feelings clearly, Rania set

• her personal boundary

• Prevented the situation from escalating further

Rania then changed her stance to a boss-employee relationship and started addressing him as "Sir" in every sentence. He then stopped his advances.