The roast of Salman Muqtadir: Tasty, but undercooked

When the comedian Rafsan Sabab cracked, "Shakib Al-Hasan's MP career is shorter than Salman Muqtadir's shorts," the entire hallway of Attention Network filled with laughter. The joke hit home and why wouldn't it, for the stalwart cricketer's political career was as short-lived as his deplorable five ball duck on debut for Surrey just two days ago.

The crowd was clapping like they'd just discovered their hands for the first time, and even Salman Muqtadir couldn't help but join in. Our photographer was practically draped over my shoulder, laughing uncontrollably, while I, with my considerable size, stayed put—because one wrong move from me could risk property damage, and let's face it, getting kicked out was not on the agenda.

We showed up early and quickly realised we didn't quite blend in. The room was full of teens and tweens, and we were sticking out like sore thumbs. But that didn't stop us from having a good laugh.

On 13 September, we attended the roast of Salman Muqtadir. The event, advertised as a charity effort for flood-affected victims of Bangladesh, was put together by Stand Up Dhaka. By the time we arrived, the venue was packed—mostly with young people, of course. We spotted a few die-hard Salman fans, and unsurprisingly, he was the literal star of the evening.

The host, telecom expert Sami Doha, started off with a number of hilarious political jokes about former prime minister Sheikh Hasina, which the audience seemed to love. One of the biggest drawbacks of Bangladeshi stand-up comedy is the lack of political jokes, and the comedians are not to blame. So, when the audience finally got to enjoy the newfound freedom of hearing political jokes, they burst out laughing. 

Before Salman arrived at the Kawran Bazar venue, there was a small magic show and a musical performance. Farhan Alam, who goes by the stage name Brown Magic, performed some neat tricks. Some of his tricks left the audience flabbergasted. 

One trick, in particular, had us all baffled. He invited two guests to pick a random celebrity name from a list and a random card from a deck. Then, they chose a random number and called it. To everyone's astonishment, the person who answered the call accurately guessed both the celebrity name and the card. 

Singer Mahib Ahsan performed a few songs, and from his soft ballads to high energy hits, the audience had a good time vibing. 

Then arrived the star of the show, with his lovely wife, Disha Islam. Salman does have guts to be roasted in front of the wife, but then again, is he not known to live life on the edge? 

The roasting panel had six comedians, including the host — the organiser Syed Ridwan Hossain Bipro, Rafsan Sabab, Mahedi Hasan Toru and the comedian couple Nilima Rafi and Tashdid Ashrar.

Bipro started the show and ended up roasting the panel instead of Salman, and had a bit too many fat jokes in his set. Then came Nilima Rafi, who is expecting a child with Tashdid; and her session mostly turned into adorable banter, instead of a hilariously aggressive roast. It was a lovely chat. 

Then came Mahedi Hasan Toru, whose jokes were a bit crass at times, with a number of sex and poop jokes; but the audience seemed to love those. Personally, I felt that Mehedi's jokes left a bit to be desired, but owing to his natural comedic charm, everyone shared a good laugh. 

There were plenty of divorce jokes tossed around, making it pretty clear that comedians might not make the most stable husbands (yikes!). But we have to admit, Tashdid's crack about Bipro's wife leaving him because of his loud snoring really got us laughing.

He absolutely floored Salman with his punchline—claiming the protest was the only test Salman ever passed, or that Salman might be asking his daughters, "Who's your daddy?" instead of saving that line for Disha.

Next up was Rafsan Sabab, and yes, he's still "black". It's 2024, but somehow jokes about skin colour still get laughs. That said, Rafsan brought the house down with some solid material—even had Salman rolling on the floor laughing, so I guess we'll let it slide this time.

Salman's comebacks were funny, and they kept the banter lively. He seemed to enjoy the show as well, being a good sport. 

But the roasters missed the chance to point out his overly shiny teeth, which, if they were a bit shinier, would've been brighter than the stage lights. 

In the end, Uttaran, a social development organisation, took to the stage and asked for support for the flood-affected people of Bangladesh. Such a gesture was welcomed by all. 

So, how was 'The Roast of Salman Muqtadir'? It was good and enjoyable, though Salman could've been roasted a bit harder. Even his wife agreed, saying, "I could have roasted him better!"

But overall, it was a good two hours. Salman, before leaving the venue, only had positive remarks for the show. When we asked him how he felt, he answered, "I enjoyed it a lot. It was for a good cause, and I am happy to be here."