Covid-19 restrictions forces CIA to launch a coup attempt at home

October, 2020

Chris has been restless since morning. A barrage of phone calls came his way after several countries, including the Republic of Wadiya, a brutal dictatorship under Admiral General Aladdin (not to be mistaken with the fictional character portrayed by Sasha Baron Cohen) declared travel restrictions on US citizens. 

Nobody in the CIA or Pentagon saw this coming. He thought that Covid-19 would come and go away like the flu. After all, that's what Donald Trump, Lord of the Countless Colonies and Protector of the Confederacy told everyone. He must be right. Right?

Much to his dismay, his train of thought was disrupted by the telephone ringing. Quite reluctantly he picked it up. 

-"Sir, it's the CEO of Pothead Marlene!" 
-"What does he want now?"
-"Sir, I think you know that very well", The PA said in a smug tone.
-"Put him through", Chris shrugged. 

Susan has become quite arrogant these days. 

"Just because one of my affiliates had to sign a non-disclosure contract with her, doesn't mean she can act like this. I need to do something about this." He said to himself. 

--"Hello Christopher. Remember me?" 

His train of thought was interrupted again at the cold tone of the familiar voice. It was James Rodriguez on the other side of the phone. He is the CEO of Pothead Marlene and he lobbied for his nomination as the acting Secretary of State just a few months earlier. 

Chris knows very well what James will ask. 

-"Hey James! How's it going?", Chris replies nervously.

-"What do you think?" 

-"Yeah...About that… I really have my hands tied! The Covid cases have skyrocketed here, you know, So, I can't really do anything about the embargo", Chris started fumbling, as his voice grew shaky. 

-"Do you know how much I spent on the lobbyists for you? 

-"Ummm… No?" 

-"Fifteen million dollars! Do you know why I did it?"

-"To sell more aircrafts to Saudi Arabia?"

-"Don't share that info over the phone! The NSA might be hearing us!" 

-"Nah! They are busy spying on MBS's girlfriend"  

-"Right. Back to business. You realise if you cannot invade some country in 2020, then I will have to elect a Democrat into your position right?" 

-"Come on! Don't do that! I will manage something. We will invade some country." 

-"Yeah! But how are we going to do that if they don't let us in?"

-"Let me see what I can do." 

-"Alright! I want to see some results by January, 2021. ", James hung up.

Chris could think of nothing but scratch his head. In this COVID-19-ridden situation, no country will allow US citizens to enter and without entering, they can neither infiltrate the mass people nor can they engineer a coup. 

On top of that, seventeen of the top sleeper agents in the CIA have become depressed. They have become so used to playing double agents, they don't know how to lead a normal life anymore. At this rate, many of them might even lose their mind. 

Seeing no other way, Chris decided to meet the supreme leader, Lord Trump. 

Oval Office, White House

Chris entered the room with no corners. The supreme leaders' left hand was buried deep into a bucket of McDonald's. While trying to reach a bag of Cheetos with his other hand, Trump said: 

-"Hey Chris! How's my new Secretary doing?"

-"Not so good, Sir. If you don't do something about this China virus soon, we might lose the support from the Military Industrial Complex."

-"What do you need?"

Trump took a pause and looked around for a bit. 

-"Jared! Where's my favourite son?", a faint cry from Eric flew by, but Trump ignored it. Jared walked into the oval office.

-"What do you need, father?"

-"Help Chris with designing a coup, will you? Just like you killed that Suleimani guy."

-"Alright, father!"

Jared and Chris sat on the other side of the resolute desk. 

-"So, what do you have in mind?" asked Chris.

-"Hmmm, so no country will let our agents enter because of the virus. And without entering we cannot assassinate their leaders or exploit their resources."

-"Yes! I know that."

-"So we need a group of angry people and a country that would let us enter. Where can we find such a country?"

-"I don't know. You tell me!"

-"Alright, no need to worry. I will arrange something. But I need to meet Steve Bannon first."

-"Thank you Jared! You are the best."

Chris returned to his office, finally relaxed. "Jared and Steve will definitely come up with something." He thought to himself.

January 6, 2021

Chris was enjoying his beauty sleep when the screeching sound of the telephone woke him up. He picked it up. On the other side Mitch Mcconnell was shouting.

-    "What have you done, you moron! These neo-nazis will kill us in our own Congress! Nooo….get away from me!...", Mitch Mcconell squealed. 

The line was cut off. Chris couldn't understand what was going on.

Understandably shook, he turned on CNN. Wolf Blitzer was shouting: 
"This is a coup. I repeat this is a coup. Trump supporters have stormed the Capitol and held the Senators captive."

Chris fell off of his chair in 'shock and awe'. 

He tried to pick himself up by the bootstrap, just like he is used to telling the working class. But it was impossible since he no longer had any support from the business daddies.