My final phrase, drop of ink, breath and heave, and my final everything
A would-be letter from six feet beneath the ground from my father, Syed Faizul Hussaini
When I pass, I don't want you to remember my words. If you end up reading every poem, every verse I wrote and you cannot find yourself between the lines, know I fought my pen every single time as everything I write must have an ending and you are a poem that I'll leave for you to start.
Remember, as I'm gone, I cannot speak but listen to what you say. So, speak about all those moments we have shared with a big smile. All those dances we have danced by forgetting about all the weight of the world. Never forget the times we have cried together, fought together and laughed together. Because indeed those are the moments which I want us to be remembered by.
Don't just shut your eyes and pray to God that I return, instead open your eyes and try to embrace all the things I have left behind. Probably that's nothing, but that is all I have left behind. Give generously, not just money but love and empathy and remember me in every inch of it.
When I pass, I don't want you to remember my words instead collect our moments like untitled poems. Poems that could've been but never were because no poem can match seeing you grow. When I pass, I don't want you to remember my words because poetry gives life to dead words so let's not kill a memory just to see it unearthed in broken verse.
Memory is a complicated space. There are certain things that never leave your mind, even if just for a second; some phrases, touches, and gestures are always there in the back of your mind. Then there's your memory, which I won't let go of until the harshness of the new reality erases it.
Yet, there will be days when you forget about me. Then there will be days when my remembrance will make you uncomfortable. However, because I no longer give you flowers, the first thing you'll do when you get up is miss me. You will not be able to ignore my presence on your writing table for even a second. I understand that love that goes unspoken remains love, but I wish we could leave flowers, messages, notes, and modest presents for everyone we've loved.
I hope you remember this moment long after the flowers have faded and you can no longer see the dimple on my left cheek. I hope you remember how much we loved each other, and that no matter how short my life was, it was still more than many people got in their whole lifetimes.
Love me through your prayers. Always recall the moments. The specific moment, where I have wrapped you around with my arms for our hearts to kiss. Remember my laughter. Record it in your mind and keep playing it like an anthem of love until your ears could hear the melody of joy again.
When you'll miss me a bit too much, light my favorite candle, let the air waft and let the natural perfume fill the room just like how I breathe you in.
Carry a piece of me wherever you go.
I don't want you to remember my words when I'm gone. Write your own to remember me. Write them wild and write them bold. They can be written with or without words. Write them until you cannot remember my words. Write them until I live through yours.