Inside the psyche of a pregnant woman

Let your imagination flow with this imagery – a stone of around 2kg is attached to your belly and you are being asked to carry it for the next three months at a stretch. How will you feel? Can you do it? If you are finding it difficult to visualise, then imagine how you feel when you carry daily essentials to your flat ascending stairs? This isn't a cakewalk, right? 

Now, relate it to the hardships a woman goes through when she gets pregnant. Women carry a baby inside their womb for almost nine months. This must be a very arduous and nerve-racking task. The kind of hardship they undertake to pull off the most supreme task anyone could do on this earth - give birth to a new life -  is beyond description.  

Pregnancy is a difficult time for a woman. We need to recognise this fact, understand the kind of changes she experiences during this period and empathise with her as well. During pregnancy, women have to encounter myriads of mental conditions and the journey is a bumpy one. 

To make this journey smooth and enjoyable for a to-be mother, we need to get our heads around their feelings, emotional state and the travails they go through. If I transmute my own experience of watching my pregnant wife straining every nerve to adapt to the changes, I could jot down a few observations.       

A pregnant woman, first of all, faces frequent mood swings as the hormonal flows change inside the body which morphs their behaviour. As a result, pregnant women develop different kinds of emotions – sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not pleasant. So, they might turn out to be gauche and phlegmatic. 

They often cannot tolerate the people they remain surrounded by and misbehave with them. If you have someone who is pregnant at home, you have to get along with this and take it normally. It is often seen that a pregnant woman gets irritated by very simple gestures or words. Even kind words spared for her may ruffle her feathers. There is nothing to blame her in these cases because it's very natural during pregnancy.      

Many pregnant women experience morning sickness, so it will not be a considerate decision to expect your wife to cook food for you in the morning and prepare your lunch as well. Morning sickness is a terrible thing. It gets difficult for a woman who feels this kind of sickness to eat even if it is well prepared in front of her, let alone cook food for others. 

If you put pressure on her to do so, it will exacerbate her psychological condition. As most of us now live in nuclear families, you must have that empathy towards her and have the mentality to adjust to this for a few months to make sure that your wife is not burdened with extra pressure. 

Meanwhile, as the months pass by and the mother-to-be reaches the twilight of her pregnancy, her weight increases as the baby grows physically. At that time, it gets quite tough for a pregnant woman to manage everything on her own like walking or doing regular chores. 

And the situation gets tougher for those who are going through pregnancy for the second or third time. Managing the tantrums of another kid and at the same time coping with the abrupt changes get really difficult for a pregnant woman. So, the family members should have a mentality to be helpful towards the pregnant woman. 

Illustration: TBS

Meanwhile, the to-be mother develops back pain and sometimes insomnia. An inability to move properly because of excessive weight and lack of sound sleep influence her mental health. As the delivery date nears by, she gets irascible and if not handled properly, she may run out of steam and feel as sick as a parrot. 

It's vital that you recognise all these annoying affectations and lend a hand (psychological) rather than coming down heavily on her. Doing things that will take the edge off the pain she endures would be a good gesture. Make her laugh or watch a movie with her – anything that will assuage the fear and pain associated with pregnancy. This way, you can literally help her roll with the punches. 

During pregnancy, the best kind of help we can provide to a pregnant woman is to be there for her, give her the mental support she needs. Understanding them and ensuring a good atmosphere for them is necessary for making sure that the to-be mother is in good mental health condition, which will, in turn, have direct impacts on the health of the baby. Science says that the mental stability of the mother and the environment where she spends her pregnancy period have knock-on impacts on the sound growth of the baby. 

It is imperative that she be rightly understood and offered assistance (both physical and psychological) in every way possible if we want her to have a healthy baby. Because a happy woman can give birth to a happy and healthy infant.

Most importantly, instead of euphemising the situation, we need to co-operate with the new mom-to-be so that her spirit does not peter out. To prevent any unfortunate situation and iron out the bumps in the road, all the family members must be more compassionate towards her. 

After all these struggles, the final hour will reach upon you and you will have the opportunity to see the face of the newborn baby. This feeling is so ineffable and transcendental – enough to wash away all those bitter memories. 

Md Morshedul Alam Mohabat is a philomath. This write-up is dedicated to the writer's wife who is pregnant with twin babies. 

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Business Standard.