Will you please stop complaining
There is a tendency to focus on the problem and not the solution in our society. This is perpetuated by a relentless ‘complaining culture.’ While we complain away for hours in a day, do we realise the impacts on our thought process and its long-term effects?
Habitual thought or behaviour of complaining is of major concern, or it should be, because it has a detrimental impact on our daily lives. Due to a lack of knowledge of these impacts, the adverse effects of 'complaining' are often ignored.
After long working hours at the office, people should go home to rest, or meet some friends at a café, to talk about all things that are peaceful to the mind. But, instead, people are often caught up in gossip about others, complaining about colleagues, comparing life with others, nagging about petty issues and spreading negativity.
Something we are, perhaps, very familiar with in this country.
On the flip side, constructively talking about problems is a good way to address the root cause of the complaints and resolve the problems. Regular sessions of complaining have the scope to make an individual bitter and negative over time. In fact, research studies show that chronic complaining has psychological impact due to the continuous cycle of negative thoughts.
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In Bangladesh, particularly since most people retreat to a counterintuitive and harmful response to stress by complaining, it has become almost a normal conversation starter.
A Stanford University study shows that complaining can damage our brains, shrinking the hippocampus and leading to memory loss. It increases the stress hormone cortisol, which hampers physical and mental health simultaneously.
Moreover, a person doesn't have to be a complainer to suffer from the impacts of complaining, as listening to a complainer impacts our health and wellbeing just as much as being a complainer, says Dr Carla J Rotering.
The unhealthy consequences of this 'complaining' mindset and habit are abundant, while its impacts remain heavily ignored in Bangladesh. So raising awareness is necessary to break the ineffective and vicious complaining cycle, which still remains prevalent in our society.
The ails of 'complaining' culture
One can deduce that a chronic tendency to complain that we see is so prevalent in our households leads people to think more negatively. Complainers see the world in a pessimistic way.
Habitual complainers encourage negative emotions to trigger or exacerbate mental health problems. Not being able to properly handle stress-related issues can possibly make people more aggressive, as they bottle up their unaddressed and difficult emotions.
Constant complaining about problems, without the intent of seeking a resolution, will lead to nothing. And we waste precious time.
People often forget to refocus on changing their perspective, as they become fixated on only the problems. This way, the perpetual 'blaming others' or pointing fingers at others continues.
On the contrary, in the Western world, developed parts or other regions of the world, where we see people busy and thriving in their work and life, people use their time in a very efficient way. They believe in productivity. Even if they have to talk about problems they will do it in an effective way, rather than dragging it out, making it a gossiping club.
Ways forward?
At the office, if the manager is not understanding the perspective of the new employee, the new employee should try to work better to understand the viewpoints of the manager rather than nagging or complaining about him/her to other colleagues.
If the employee keeps complaining, he/she will just waste time and lose any scope for any self-development growth. Thus the employee's work will continue to be substandard.
On the other hand, by talking about how to work better, the new employee will have a deep and meaningful conversation with the manager, which will assist him to learn and grow. And in effect, it will also help the manager create a better, more efficient work environment.
People should start focusing on having problem-solving conversations, which is effective. As a result, after a hectic day at work, talking with people about life issues will not feel like frustration anymore. Furthermore, people will feel more comfortable and peaceful while having a deep meaningful conversation in a nice relaxing environment.
Proper knowledge of effective ways to handle stress will also assist people in mitigating the risks of falling prey to difficult situations that stem from the complaining culture. People should acknowledge the importance of handling stress-related situations in life by being focused on the solution, not the problem. And do so with a positive attitude.
Sumaiya Basher is majoring in marketing at North South University.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Business Standard.
