Petrolheads vernacular: A short guide to confusing automotive jargon
Have you ever been confused, conflicted or concerned by your petrolhead friend's chatter? Here’s an incomplete cipher to put some of that to rest.
Car enthusiasts can be an odd bunch. Despite looking like normal human beings, most of the time, we have a tendency to think, act and talk differently, often to the detriment of our non-petrolhead friends.
To many of them, it may seem like we talk in a "code", using run-of-the-mill words with entirely different meanings.
Well, we do that. And this week, we are providing you with a small glimpse of our secret codebook so you too can understand some of what we are saying.
Keep updated, follow The Business Standard's Google news channel
Dorito
Normals folk: A type of tortilla chips that are either too spicy, too dry and entirely unhealthy.
Petrolheads: A pistonless engine made by a German with no engineering degree that revs high and makes lots of power in a small package. Burns a lot more gas and oil and can be a nightmare to fix.
N/A
Normals folk: Limit to a petrolhead's car budget
Petrolheads: Naturally aspirated. Meaning the car breathes naturally, not force-fed air via the means of a super or turbocharger.
ICE
Normals folk: Chunky water.
Petrolheads: Internal Combustion Engines. Every non-eclectic car uses one for locomotion. Complex, heavy, inefficient but can sound really cool and are amazing to look at.
STI
Normals: Sexually Transmitted infection. The ones that burn.
Petrolheads: Subaru Tecnica International. Subaru's motorsports division that builds cars capable of bolting through a foot of mud at triple-digit while occasionally blowing a head gasket.
LSD
Normals folk: A controlled substance that lets you see the world in new and colourful ways, for the small cost of one's health.
Petrolheads: Limited Slip Differential. A set of gears that keeps a car's rear wheels spinning at the same speed. Provides additional traction at fast corners and prevents rapid unplanned pavement ejection.
Cats
Normals folk: A fluffy little friend or a spawn from hell.
Petrolheads: Catalytic converters. Reduce exhaust pollution and lower engine output. Many petrolheads like to "de-cat" their cars for a few extra hp.
Deep dish
Normals folk: Chicago-style pizza that puts the cheese under the sauce.
Petrolheads: Rims where the spokes recessed deep into the wheel itself. Designed to accommodate wide tyres.
Boxer
Normals folk: A really hands-on face reconstruction expert.
Petrolheads: A engine where the cylinders are laid horizontally opposed to each other. Provides a car with lower centre of gravity and the lateral piston movement cancels out a lot of the engine vibrations. Tends to be more complex than other type of motors.
Murdered out
Normals folk: You may or may not need to contact the authorities.
Petrolheads: An aesthetically interesting but functionally impractical visual car modification involving covering every surface of a car in some kind of black tint/paint. Also known as "blacked out".
Sleeper
Normal folk: Most people on a holiday.
Petrolheads: A car with an unassuming exterior that has been mechanically heavily modified to be really, really fast. Driven by people who like to give supercar owners buyer's remorse.
