A mother who built a family, business and a legacy

In the journey of life, events, situations, circumstances and more importantly people, shape us into what we become and our personality, wisdom, character are molded through this confluence.

For any person growing up especially in the subcontinent, women play a big part, be it mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters in this regard. Their personalities create the base upon which we embark on this journey of life.

I have always been surrounded by women of strong personalities.

My mother's mother, my Nanu Late Shamsur Nahar Paran, founder of the first NGO in Chittagong, Ghashful, was a personality like no other. Outspoken, she worked with marginalised people in the urban slums of Chittagong, was an advocate of women's rights, was President of Mohila Samity Chittagong and so on.

My mother Parveen Mahmud is the first female president of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Bangladesh, and also of the South Asian Federation of Accountants.

But the mother I am going to write about today - my father's mother - is the woman who has had the biggest influence on who I am today, the late Sajeda Begum Chouwdhurany.

Dadu had a very privileged upbringing. Her father Late Moulawi Dr Sanaullah Barrister was a renowned Islamic scholar from Chittagong and member of the Bengal Legislative Assembly. A man with a strong personality, he did his PhD from SOAS London in 1938, and also finished his Bar at Law from Lincoln's Inn, despite being a graduate from Hathazari Madrassa. Her father was a huge influence on her throughout her life.

My grandfather Late Serajul Islam Mahmud was a leading businessman from Chittagong. He was the founder of Asiatic Cotton Mills, a textile company in 1954 and also President of Pakistan Chamber of Commerce & Industries.

Dadu was asthmatic and in 1957 she became really sick and was admitted to Dhaka Medical College Hospital. My grandfather, after admitting her, went back to Chittagong to look after the children. Then on the way back to Dhaka to see my Dadu, my grandfather unfortunately lost his life in the fatal PIA plane crash on July 1, 1957.

Illustration: TBS

My grandmother was only 27 years of age at that time, with four children aged 10,7,6 and 4. When she heard the news she went into shock and developed a serious asthmatic condition with which she had lived with throughout her life.

After the passing of my grandfather my Dadu took the reins of the business. She would do purdah and yet conduct all transactions and look after the accounts.

My Dada had just started construction of our house at 14 Jamal Khan Road in Chittagong when he passed away just after completing the first floor. She supervised and completed the construction of the three-storied building which today is still there.

At the same time, she started to get more involved with our trading company, Mahmud & Company. In the 60s, she became the second largest trader in Chittagong importing refined soybean oil and other commodities.

She became the largest supplier of bitumen at one point. After a few years she concentrated more on the trading business and ultimately sold off Asiatic Cotton Mills. With the money that she earned through the sale, she bought hills in Kumira, Sitakunda, and invested in land in Dhaka.

This is perhaps where she showed the most important quality that she had, which was farsightedness. Even today, people who knew her always mention this to me.

She had this vision that my father and uncles would need to have their own establishments in Dhaka. With that in mind, she applied for land in Gulshan which at that time was basically a forested area. She got two plots and also purchased land in Mohakhali. 

I have come across people who had not given second thought to buying land, especially in Gulshan during the 60s, and still regret it to this day.

Then, when my father moved to Dhaka for his studies and subsequently became a lecturer in Economics at Dhaka University, she gave him money to build his house at the age of 18 and also bought him a Volkswagen Beetle so he can easily commute.

Dadu always took care of all the worries and never let any of us feel financial burdens. She would in a way indulge us for everything, but made sure we did not become spoiled and understood the value of everything.

When my father got the Commonwealth Scholarship, she never asked him to come join the business but rather encouraged him to pursue his career as an academic. Her own father's pursuit of knowledge greatly shaped her thinking.

The greatest achievement for Dadu was establishing her three sons, my father Barrister Anisul Islam Mahmud, my uncle Mahmud Issa as a Computer Engineer and my youngest uncle Dr Moinul Islam Mahmud.

She would always beam with pride whenever she talked about their professional qualifications. Even when my father completely changed course to switching from the academic profession to pursuing a career in politics, she encouraged him.

In fact, she was the same with all her grandchildren as well. She would always indulge us and protect us. She would indulge herself with two of her favorite things, which were Ferrero Rocher chocolate and choco bar ice cream.

I was never a good student in school, which was the complete opposite of my sister. Dadu would always tell me that studies are important, but that does not make a man.

She would encourage me to explore other avenues and always said everyone has their own calling. She would on top of everything keep the whole family closer by keeping in touch with the extended family. To this day we all are very close knit.

Two interactions with her have had a profound influence on my outlook on life. After my Dada died, she gave all the joint properties away. I once asked her why would you do that? She said, 'blood is more important than property. If you have enough to live a simple good life, there's no point in creating problems which will affect your mental state of mind.'

Another time she was talking with one of my Dada's cousins who was praising her during the whole conversation. After he left, I asked her if she knew he had filed a false case against her and taken away land owned by my Dada. She looked at me and told me, 'then think how he must be feeling inside while he was praising me like there's no sun or moon. Never belittle or hurt anyone even though you are in a position to do that.'

She would always emphasise on empathy and being a good human being. Never hurt anyone with a passing comment.

She was also very strict when it came to certain things. For example, since my Dada passed away when my father was only 10 years old, his teachers had a huge influence on him. They would often look after him as their own. For that my grandmother, since we were little kids, always placed teachers over our own parents in hierarchy.

All these and just the way she was with us has left a lasting impression upon all of us. Another thing she instilled in us was to try and help people however we could. She would always say that sometimes you are the person who, with one phone call or talking with someone for two minutes, can change the destiny of a whole family. Another thing I have learnt is that the love of grandparents is the only unconditional love a person will experience in their lifetime. Parents always knowingly or unknowingly have a favourite.

On this Mother's Day, I cannot help but think about what a mother she was to not just my father and his siblings, but to every one of us, unconditionally. It is because of her today, I have the base upon which I can stand up and flourish.

I just wish she was still with us today. I find it apt to end with my favorite quote by Nancy Rathburn, "A strong woman understands that gifts such as logic, decisiveness, and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts."

Happy Mother's Day to every mother.

The author is managing director of Shasha Denims Ltd and Honorary Consul of FDR Ethiopia. He is the president of the Bangladesh-Thai Chamber of Commerce and Industry (BTCCI) and former president of the Dhaka Chamber of Commerce & Industry (DCCI).