AirPnB set to be launched by MATHS students to book protest venues amid soaring demand
MATHS students also demand that hoarding of apples, oranges and such be avoided in math problems as those promote fascism
This article is a work of satire and is intended to be taken as such.
MATHS (Mathematics) students who planned to block Shahbagh today had to postpone their programme after they were caught in traffic at the Bijoy Sarani.
After sitting in traffic for two hours, they then decided to call off the programme and hold it another day somewhere closer to their homes.
One of the mathematics students, Akash Akand, said they couldn't make their way to the programme venue due to unmoving traffic.
"The traffic stemmed from other people also protesting on Karwan Bazar and Shahbagh on different issues."
That's when he was hit with a brilliant idea.
"We are launching an app called AirPnB, or Air Protest and Blockade. This way you book your protest venue in advance and avoid the hassle of two groups protesting in one place. It's also confusing for the audience," he said.
Piggy-backing on Akand's idea, Elia Hosne, a professional foreign start-up idea thief, said she was launching a website just for the occasion.
"We are calling it 'IsTodayAndolon.com'. People can log in to the website and find out whether a protest is happening today. We can then monetise it if we scale up and also include protests from poorer people like RMG workers," she said.
Meanwhile, MATHS students said they would continue their protests over their very important demands soon.
Their demands are not doing so much algebra, reducing the trigonometry syllabus, an overhaul of having to memorise the times tables and roots and stuff when there's already a calculator and the option to incorporate AI in solving complex or not complex math problems.