It’s time to talk about men’s mental health

Mental health is an issue that has been overlooked for ages, and more often than not, it has been touted as 'just a phase' leading to superficial advice like "it will pass". People with mental health issues have hardly resorted to medical advice, as they always do with physical health. What is more worrying is, men, in particular, have been reluctant to even discuss what has been eating them from the inside. 

Symptoms of mental disorders, with a few exceptions, are mostly similar for both genders. So, why should we emphasise men's mental health? To answer the question, we have to delve deeper into the root causes of men being statistically more susceptible to mental health issues and repercussions. 

Men, led by years of social indoctrination, often feel the necessity to be closeted regarding their mental health concerns. Men, as we have grown to see, have been encouraged to be tough, and opening up has been considered as the antithesis of being a tough guy. 

We often hear problematic lines such as 'boys don't cry', preached almost as doctrines. In fact, in families, men grow up instilled with the thought of repressing mental health problems to appear as strong in order to prove and appear as what is perceived to be 'manly'.

Moreover, society has carved out a construction of men being the primary wage earners, which quite inevitably, exerts a lot of stress on them. To be the alpha wolf of the pack, you need to act like one - men are often taught and compelled to be the driving force of the family. And, in an attempt to be an alpha, they feel like the family is at the behest of them. Hence, to keep things that way, they are not allowed to show any signs of weaknesses. 

Aspiration to be the primary breadwinner of a family, as formidable as it may sound, comes with a lot of pressure, to which men eventually succumb because of the imposition of the notion and the relentless pressure to meet it. But, to appear as a rough and tough guy, men sweep all of their emotional turbulence, if that occurs at any point of their life later on, under the rug.

To fit into the traditional construct of being an alpha, a lot of men are coerced into drastically changing themselves. 'Soft men' have been bullied through their entire childhood and asked to 'man up' for not meeting societal standards. 

These detrimental narratives have pushed toxic masculinity to a new height. Men, knowingly or unknowingly, have resorted to toxic masculinity, in a lot of ways to represent them as a strong specimen. Avoiding mental health issues have not only been hard on them but on the people around them as well. 

A man who has had to turn his entire personality upside down, often feels a lot of pressure to hide under the veil that he has created for himself. He does not want to appear as vulnerable in front of anybody, not even to the ones closest to him, despite going through a lot at times. 

TBS Illustration

Being cooped up with his own thoughts often leads him to take it out on other people in an inappropriate way, which has been exhibited in the form of domestic violence as well. Men, statistically are more prone to suicide - three times more than women. What is more worrying is their reluctance to seek mental health advice. 

According to a survey by the National Health Service (NHS) of the United Kingdom (UK), only 36% of people seeking counsel for mental health issues are men. The National Center for Health Statistics (NCHR) of the United States of America (USA) has conducted a survey of over 21,000 American men and one in ten have reported some form of depression or anxiety and less than half have sought medical counsel. 

The staggering polarisation in the numbers between sufferers and people seeking help shows how alarming an issue men's mental health in particular has become, and why it needs to be talked about on a larger scale.

Our country, due to holding on to outdated ideas and social taboos regarding this issue, consists of a large number of male population who refuse to disclose their inner turmoil. At the same time, the imposition of lockdown, as effective as they are in terms of tackling a pandemic, has been extremely hard on the mental health, especially to students, who have been pretty much out of touch with academic activities due to the suspension of educational institutions since March 18th, 2020. 

University students feel like they have failed their families as their prospects of entering the job sector are getting pushed back by the day. According to a survey done by Young Minds, 83% of youth, most of them being students, feel their preexisting mental health conditions have aggravated in the quarantine period. To add more to that, approximately one out of four students have developed anxiety during this period.

An extant notion of neglecting mental health issues in the name of being a man has been very hard on our men. On top of that, the Covid situation has added layers to the problem. In these dire times, we need to be more aware of this matter at hand. We need to address the issue that mental health needs just as much medical attention as our physical health. Ignoring this over the years has pushed us to oblivion. Men are on the brink of a bottomless pit, a depressive loop. 

Now, it is about time we took matters in our own hands. It is about time that men break all the stigma centering mental health and find strength in seeking help. Closeted with all the mental health problems in the name of being a man has never helped one to be strong, contrary to the popular notion. 

Strength lies in rising above social stigmas, breaking through stereotypes, and coming to terms with the fact that it is okay to express emotions and seek help thereby. It is about time we said, "Yes, men's mental health matters!"

Alavi Ashraf Eram, out of his firm belief in an inclusive society, is currently working with MenSpeak Bangladesh as well as Identity Inclusion. Reach out to him at: [email protected].

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Business Standard.