Soap operas: Family bonding or door to patriarchy?

"Mom, I finished my homework. Can I watch this show?" 

"Mom, I don't want to go to school today. I missed yesterday's episode and I want to watch it." 

"Mom, I am cancelling my tuition today. There's a very exciting episode and I can't miss it."

Requests I often made to my mother to catch up with some Indian television serials back in 2010, when I was in high school. 

I, along with many of my female friends, used to watch Indian TV serials broadcasted on channels like Star Plus, Star Jalsha, Star One, Sahara, Zee TV, Zee Bangla, Sony and so on.

From 2006 to 2014, Indian serials were one of our main sources of entertainment.

People like us, who lived in small towns during that time, relied on Indian drama serials for entertainment, especially homemakers and teenage girls, who were the main audiences of those shows. 

I remember how eager my mother and my aunts used to be to watch them. They would sit down in front of the TV at 6:30am and continue to watch till 11 at night. 

On average, they watched five to six serials per day. It was not only a normal scenario at my home, but at most well-to-do homes at that time.

Now, just stepping into my late 20s, those rose-tinted memories of us draped on sofas watching the talking box hold an entirely different meaning. 

This is simply because of my realisation: the patriarchal society of the Indian sub-continent serves us patriarchy with the candy wrapper of romance. 

So what provoked this epiphany of sorts? 

I made the, now looking back, mistake of re-watching one of my childhood favourites, an Indian serial titled "Iss pyaar Ko Main Kya Naam Doon?" ("What would I name this love?").

Gone was the romance. With my renewed lenses, charged by transformative years, unlearning and relearning, a number of new hues struck out.

Without a doubt, Indian soap operas are an essential part of a monolithic culture industry that cuts across several languages, territories, and nations, commanding a sizable audience on every channel. However, with the exception of a few select shows among the multitude, the majority lack coherent plotlines. 

Typically, these serials revolve around a female protagonist who epitomises societal standards of beauty and morality, yet remains perpetually discontented.

Photo: Collected

But the practices they show in these serials do not work in real life. More or less every such serial follows one of two basic storylines: either a) A rich guy falls in love with a poor or dark-skinned, they break up, and she tries to win him back; or b) A rich woman full of 'false attitude', ego and temper agrees to allow a guy be her partner, and he changes her at the end. 

In some of the shows, they portray the female lead character as very ideal and well-cultured by showing that she only wears traditional clothes like a Salwar Kameez or a Saree. Any other dresses are not depicted as good at all.

The female protagonists are very much like cardboard cut-out characters which uphold a certain culture. There are no grey areas, no nuances and certainly no room for mistakes: they don't even sneeze or use the washroom. 

Another common aspect is that the hero and heroine fight a lot at the beginning. They insult each other, but over a period of time they start to feel for each other. Here, they use misogyny as a weapon to support patriarchy. Abusive patterns are repackaged to be forms of love. Jealousy, possessiveness and unchecked anger are enlisted as markers of true love. 

These serials lack any meaningful social message; they do not advocate for social causes. Instead, they often depict mindless scenarios of in-law domination over daughters-in-law, attempted murders between family members, or portrayals of negative son-in-law characters.

The deeply ingrained misogyny within television content often goes unnoticed, reinforcing patriarchal norms. 

Why does the middle class, the predominant audience for such television content, continue to consume such regressive content while it is already entrenched within repressive social structures?

During my university years and my professional life, I saw many of my female friends and co-workers experience red flags in their relationships without realising it. But they don't protest. They simply tolerate such behaviour. 

I was wondering why girls remain in toxic relationships? Or why do they let others dominate them? The simplest answer to me is that we have been taught to accept patriarchy as a form of "love".

Photo: Collected

Teenage girls accept misogyny because they are taught that all romantic heroes are dominating, angry and arrogant; that they have the right to be toxic with their women and female relatives, and that all of them must accept it. 

Like in the famous soap opera "Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon", Hero Arnav Singh Raizada did to the main female lead Khushi in several ways. Yet Khushi fell in love with this man. Not only in one serial, but also it's a common scenario of other serials that mostly focus on Patriarchy most. 

Common stereotype avatar: Most of the Indian serials have a common look for the "Alpha Heroes". Trimmed beards, gym-build muscle, luxurious suits, rich mansion, all time angry look, anger, arrogance, unconditional dedication towards a particular family member, hatred for women in general, intolerance towards the poor and what not. If we look at some famous characters we can find the similarities easily. Arnav Sing Raizada, Maan Singh Khurana, Slok Niranjan Adhikari, Prithvi Saxena, Aronno Shingha Roy and so on. 

Male stereotypes in soap operas.

Showing anger with physical violence: In most of the drama serials, the Alpha heroes express their feelings by violating or insulting the heroine characters. Sometimes they hold the heroine's hand so tightly that it leaves a mark on their hand. Again sometimes they punish the heroines to satisfy their ego. If the heroine makes a mistake, he might ask her to pay the compensation in cash (in spite of knowing that she is poor), or he might ask her to kneel down in front of him. And the heroines tolerate this behaviour silently. They don't even protest because they are "good girls".

Showing anger with physical violence. Photo: Collected

Verbal abuse: It is also a very common scene in Indian serials to insult the heroines verbally. The heroes can do so because they are rich. The nature of these insults are generally on the heroine's financial status, poorness, their little education, being small town girls. 

Heroes are the ultimate saviours: Most of the time they show that the heroines are so fragile that they need a man to save her. Heroes reach to save her every time. We are living in 2024, still they are showing that heroines cannot take care of themselves from any danger without the help of a rich hero.

The unavoidable misunderstanding: It's a very common twist of the plot. Without it an Indian serial is incomplete really. Just when the hero realises that he loves the heroine something happens that creates a misunderstanding between them. For example - in Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon, when Arnav was about to confess his feelings for Khushi, he saw his sister's husband holding Khushi. And after that the famous Indian Background score…. More or less it happens in every Indian TV serial which has no connection with reality.

"Good girls do anything for the family": They show that good girls will do anything just to protect their family. They can sacrifice their self-respect, or can be in a toxic, horrible relationship. In many Indian serials they show that "good girls" tolerate many difficult situations just because they "care for and love" their family.

Female protagonists in soap operas.

She can be forward-thinking, confident, and attractive, but she struggles to put her own happiness first. It seems like in every show, there's a really good woman matched by a really evil one.

In today's world, every detail in the media holds significance, from small actions like using plastic straws to larger issues like advocating for gender equality and inclusion. 

With women increasingly contributing to economic growth and societal changes happening around us, it's crucial to reconsider the content we produce and be accountable for the messages portrayed in these shows.

Not only does the culture industry celebrate misogynistic males, but these serials also perpetuate a stereotype about the dress code of "good girls" in our society. Kushi, Pakhi, Kumkum, Tulsi, Naira – all famous female leads – have perpetuated the stereotype by wearing traditional dresses throughout their respective serials.

I am not against our traditional dresses, but I am strongly against the thought of thinking someone is bad if she is not wearing a traditional dress, and wearing modern Western clothes instead. 

The impact of such serials on Bangladesh cannot be ignored.

Not long ago, back in 2014, one news headline was "'Pakhi' dress: three deaths, and a divorce". There was a famous Kolkatan Bengali serial name "Bojhe na she bujhe na", where the female protagonist's name was Pakhi. and again she made a traditional avatar wearing a traditional dress. That dress became familiar as "Pakhi dress".

Three young girls gave their lives over Pakhi dress and one woman got divorced over it in Bangladesh. Bangladeshi Markets were flooded by that dress that time. and it was the most sold dress type on that Eid.

Still, some people would say serials have nothing to do with it. In addition to portraying misogyny and gender exclusivity, Hindi serials also depict various negative phenomena like jealousy, conspiracy, conflicts within families, and extramarital affairs. These themes can influence people's psychology, as audiences often try to draw parallels with real life, even though such situations may not always occur in the same way in reality.

Video is an art form and can convey a meaningful message to society. It depends on us how we want to shape our society. The deeply ingrained misogyny within television content often goes uncriticised, reinforcing patriarchal norms. 

I am not saying that Indian TV channels and those serials should be banned. But, why does the middle class, the predominant audience for such television content, continue to consume such regressive content while it is already entrenched within repressive social structures? 

Don't we need to censor the contents we want to watch or that we want our future generations to watch? Isn't it high time we let our girls break the chain of patriarchy even in a form of entertainment?

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Business Standard.